2009 Horoscopes

Time for your 2009 Horoscope:

Aries (March 21 - April 19) You are the pioneer type and hold people in
contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are an
aZhole.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged
determination to work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and
bullheaded. You're nothing but a da_mned communist.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like
you because you're bi_s_e_x_u_a_l. However, you're inclined to expect
too much for too little, meaning you're cheap. Geminis are notorious for
thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 22 - July 21) You are sympathetic and understanding to others
problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off, and
that is why you will always be on welfare, and never worth a shi+.

Leo (July22 - August 21) You consider yourself a born leader, while others see
you as pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and can't tolerate honest
criticism. You are arrogant and disgusting. Leo people are thieving
b_a_s_t_a_r_d_s.

Virgo (August 22 - September 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nitpicking is sickening to all your friends. You are cold and unemotional,
and often fall asleep while making love. Virgos make excellent bus drivers and
pimps.

Libra (September 23 - October 22) You are the artistic type and have a
difficult time with reality. If you're a man, you are most likely q_u_e_e_r,
if a woman a whor@. Chances of monetary gain are excellent. All Libras die of
VD.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You are a shrew in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success due to your lack of ethics.
You are a perfect son-of-a b_itch. Most Scorpions get murdered.

Sagittarius (Novenber 22 - December 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic.
You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority
of Sagittarians are drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal
because you are always getting screwed.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) You are conservative and afraid of taking
risks. You can't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a
Capricorn of any importance. They are notorious for farting in church.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 19) You have an inventive mind and are inclined
to be progressive. On the other hand, you lie a great deal. You tend to be
careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly.
Everyone thinks you are stupid.

Pieces (February 20 - March 20) You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the CIA and FBI. You have minor influence over your
associates, and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence
and are a coward. Pieces people screw small animals.




Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles
in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles
to extend your arm and smack the azhole in the head.

um Capricorn, hit the nail on the head there.

architech wrote:
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You are a shrew in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success due to your lack of ethics.
You are a perfect son-of-a b_itch. Most Scorpions get murdered.

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles
in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles
to extend your arm and smack the azhole in the head.

Trust me Archi and it's not that I'd dishonest or any thing I just have a few ethical Issues


you know \/... (peace) is Kool but .|... only requires 1/2 as much effort

architech wrote:
Leo (July22 - August 21) You consider yourself a born leader, while others see
you as pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and can't tolerate honest
criticism. You are arrogant and disgusting. Leo people are thieving
b_a_s_t_a_r_d_s.

LOL
Pretty much me ------ except for the thieving part...

architech wrote:Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) ....farting in church......

well...at least I go.


....actually, I don't, so therefore you can't blame this Capricorn for that one

and I being a Scorpio will ask the frog for a ride across the river and if he makes a mom joke, well I may not be able to swim but dog gonnit I love my mom!!!