Yo Momma Jokes

I'll Start this, First just because it got cut short before I could finish it !

Yo Momma SO FAT, Their gona airlift her Butt to London in 2012 to use it as an Olympic Dome.

Yo Momma so FAT, the USGS felt the need to name the Crack of her @$$

Yo Momma so Fat, When I slapped her on the @$$ to ride the first wave in, I got caught up in a Tsunami

Yo momma so easy, On Fathers Day she get's a bulk discount on Fathers Day cad so she won't miss yo real Daddy

Yo Momma so easy, the Post office Delivers letters from the 7th Fleet by Bulk Mail Carrier

Yo Momma like a door Knob, Every one's had a turn!

Yo Momma so Fat, we had to stop using Tape Measures, and had to switch to the Ax Handle unit of measure to size her @$$

Yo Momma so Ugly, Roy Rodgers had her stuffed and mounted next to Trigger

Yo Momma so Easy, if you called me "Daddy" you got a 1 in 10,000 chance of being right

YO MAMA IS SO UGLY
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Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!
Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama so ugly your dad's breath smells like c r ap because he would rather kiss her ass.
Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow

YO MAMA SO STUPID
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the Superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Yo mama so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
Yo mama so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Yo mama so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"
Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
Yo mama so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
Yo mama so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
Yo mama so stupid She went to Disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said Levi's

YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat we're in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you have ta' roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
Yo mama so fat that when she lays on the beach ....people run around her yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE".
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it reads "TO BE CONTINUED".
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it reads "WE DON'T DO LIVESTOCK".
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light the Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, LA, Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to F U K her
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out BouleVarD.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Yo mama so fat she accidentally got a 747 caught in her teeth
Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Yo mama so fat The Himalayas are practice runs to prepare for her
Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to GET THE H E L L OFF!!!
Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development
Yo mama so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
Yo mama so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck
Yo mama so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball.
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
Yo mama so fat her favorite dress is a tent.
Yo mama so fat she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops.
Yo mama so fat she needs a building permit for her girdle.
Yo mama so fat she puts on tampons with a bazooka.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and got two dimes and a nickel.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over four quarters and made it a dollar.
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat the Department of Transportation makes her wear a "Caution, Wide Turn" sign.
Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
Yo mama so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
Yo mama so fat when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight.
Yo mama so fat the phone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama so fat when she puts on her clothes, they beg for mercy.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a red dress, kids run after her and YELL "HEY Kool Aid".
Yo mama so fat she shows up on radar.
Yo mama so fat when she auditioned for Indiana Jones, she got the part of the big rolling ball.
Yo mama so fat she couldn't star in Forrest Gump because she kept eating the box of chocolates.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again."
Yo mama so fat when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama so fat when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Yo mama so fat when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
Yo mama so fat she makes Free Willy look like a "GUPPY"
Yo mama so fat the difference between her and Moby D I K is about three pounds.
Yo mama so fat when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D".
Yo mama so fat she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big!
Yo mama so fat she doesn't wear Dazzey Dukes; she wears Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
Yo mama so fat her senior picture had to be an aerial view.
Yo mama so fat she has to fly cargo class.
Yo mama so fat she has to wear a sock on each toe.
Yo mama so fat she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat.
Yo mama so fat the AIDS quilt can't cover her.
Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
Yo mama so fat she qualifies for group insurance.
Yo mama so fat when she steps on gum, she can tell you what flavor it is.
Yo mama so fat the shadow of her ass weighs 50 lbs.
Yo mama so fat she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button.
Yo mama so fat her navel gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo mama so fat when I swerved to avoid her on the road, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat even God can't lift her spirits.
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "DAAAMN!".
Yo mama so fat she sells shade in the summer.
Yo mama so fat cows graze by her for the shade.
Yo mama so fat when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her.
Yo mama so fat she got on an airplane and only the wings took off.
Yo mama so fat when she told the airport she needed to fly right away, they stamped "GoodYear" on her ass and put her on the runway!
Yo mama so fat the airport categorizes her ass as carry-on luggage.
Yo mama so fat she lost at Hide and Seek when I spotted her behind the Himalayas.
Yo mama so fat she could be the eighth continent.
Yo mama so fat she farted and put herself into orbit.
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I gotta ride a bus and two trains to get on her good side.
Yo mama so fat when your family wants to watch home movies, they dress her in white and seat her in front.
Yo mama so fat when she eats at McDonald's, they have to go outside and double the number on the sign that says amount of people served.
Yo mama so fat her ass has got more meat than a freezer at Price-Costco.
Yo mama so fat her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a Milk Dud.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat the only thing attracted to her is gravity.
Yo mama so fat small objects tend to orbit her.
Yo mama so fat she's got tan lines from the refrigerator light.
Yo mama so fat her belly button's got an echo.
Yo mama so fat I'm jealous of yo daddy. He's got TWICE the woman anyone else has!
Yo mama so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!

YO MAMA IS SO NASTY
Yo mama so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
Yo mama so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach
Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave
Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so nasty that her **** is glad to escape.
Yo mama so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
Yo mama so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo mama so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place
Yo mama so nasty she was declared quarantine since before she was born
Yo mama so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo mama
Yo mama so nasty the bitches teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!!!
Yo mama so nasty she has two A H O L E s and they both stink.
Yo mama so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea
Yo mama so nasty skunks run from her

YO MAMA IS SO HAIRY
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo mama so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
Yo mama so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
Yo mama so hairy she shaves with a weed-wacker

YEA Archi YEA Well all I CAN SAY IS YO MOMMA

Yo mama so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!

OMG That is soooooo nasty.
I'm glad it's Yo momma & not My momma!